The Question I Got From A Young Dom the Other Day
A young Dom sent me a question the other day. His question was, "I saw in one of your posts that you sometimes don't fuck your subs during a play session."
My response was, "That is true. Not all subs are there for intercourse and in the first few encounters, they don't yet trust you. So I usually don't penetrate with myself unless they beg me too. However, there are times that sex has occurred during aftercare. Some subs just need a good spanking or to be in ropes for a couple of hours. Not every encounter that I am with a sub has us having sex."
His response was surprising to me, and why I bring it up here. He said, "Then what the hell do I get out of it if I am a Dom."
I had to tell him it is not all about you, especially at first. If you accept the responsibility of being a Dom, you will get gratification when you have your sub in handcuffs, or you are giving him or her a good spanking or flogging, and he or she looks up to you with such respect and trust, and begs you for more. That can be very gratifying. If it is sex that you need. Once your sub has fully given him or her body and possibly mind over to you. They will do almost anything to please you, including sexually. So you might not get sex the first time you meet with someone. But, if you do things right and show that you are the right person to lead and the sub can feel comfortable submitting and following, the sky is the limit.
Am I right here? I have never been with a new Sub and she is fully comfortable just letting go completely and letting me do whatever including fucking her any way I want. It is a process and takes time. I think a good Dom also knows how to be patient.
New Cummers Q & A:
Over the past year being back on Fetlife and other websites, I have gotten hundreds of messages from new Dom/Dommes and subs with questions about kink and BDSM. So I have created this group https://fetlife.com/groups/258707 to act as a safe space for newcomers to ask any questions about the kink lifestyle or BDSM to more experienced Dom/Dommes and subs.
I wish I had some people I could ask questions to when I was starting. If you are interested in being an administrator or guide, do let me know. The more, the better. I don't see myself as knowing all the answers. If you are new and have questions, don't hesitate to join and asking away.
