The BDSM World Can Feel Like a Mind Fuck When You First Start Out
As you first begin a journey as a Dom or Domme and possibly as a sub, it can be a complete mind fuck. A lot of Doms and Dommes don’t want to admit it. Some feel it takes away from their power to show any vulnerability. But, when a new Domme, messaged me and asked me if I had ever felt like this entire thing was crazy. I had to tell her the truth.
When I started to embrace my role as Dom, I found myself completely confused. BDSM activities can feel like a complete mind fuck. In vanilla society, almost 80% of BDSM activities would be considered assault. However, within our lifestyle, consent is given, so that makes everything ok. I told her for many, it takes some time to get used to it.
I also told her what I had to do to help me along my journey. As I began to get deeper into my role, and found myself feeling pleasure when I saw the bloody welt marks on my subs legs and ass. In addition, being a Dom who had the privilege of having a live-in slave for several years. Having access to her body whenever I wanted sex or just being able to whip her on a Sunday morning just because I got the urge, could seem crazy to someone outside of the lifestyle. Instead of comparing these experiences to societal norms and feeling like I was an abuser or creep. I started to compartmentalize the lifestyle and separated it from my Vanilla everyday life.
By doing this, I was able to accept that there was a world where societal norms and rules don’t apply. I also was able to fully indulge myself and enjoy the experiences at the same time be able to function like a productive man in the Vanilla world without any embarrassment or regret.
So if you are new to all this and are feeling what I felt, a mind fuck, you are not alone. Try to compartmentalize the lifestyle. Separate it from your everyday Vanilla lifestyle. I promise it will help you out.
Again, I don’t consider myself an expert. I am just sharing what worked for me. If you are a Dom or Domme and something else worked for you, do tell.
